'Til your legs flew off

Josh is turning four this month and it could only mean one thing: World Cup season is here!



Sorry, been very busy this month, as we are going home to 'Pinas for some vacation.

When God hands you a gift, he also hands you a whip

I have read the book The Da Vinci Code many years ago, thanks to a colleague at my new job, who noticed that I like books. He said why don't I try this author, who was just starting to get attention and that his latest book just joined the New York Times bestsellers list. So I gave in and he lent me this huge book titled 'The Da Vinci Code' (it was not yet printed in paperback then). I probably spent a couple of nights with not much sleep pouring over the riveting story; I searched the net over the Priory of Scion; I've downloaded pictures of Leonardo's paintings and frescoes -- even of Caravaggio; I googled the Holy Grail; but not for once was my religious belief shaken (I knew of Opus Dei when I was only a teen). I knew that Catholicism was founded in bloodshed -- it was but governed by men, and that man can falter. Did I for one bit believed that Mary Magdalene was a partner of Christ? No. For all we know she could just be one obsessive fan who stalked Jesus throughout his evangelization and claimed that she carries his child. It could happen; Jesus was a popular figure during his time; he is what some may call in our time: a pop idol.

So much for that, and now let's tackle the movie that is creating so much stir months before its release; the religious sector was clamouring for the followers of Christ not to watch the movie and that theatre owners not to show it on their cinemas. Protestations only attracted more attention and publicity led the movie to total blockbuster hit. I was looking forward to this movie adaptation after I read the book for the first time, as rumours were already spreading then that some Hollywood people had bought the rights. With so much hype surrounding the film, I went to the theatre with a lot of expectations and went home disappointed.

The Da Vinci Code was a work of fiction -- written with intrigues making Dan Brown's novel a religious conspiracy thriller; but when it was transported into another medium, it seemed to have lost its punch. It was a meticulous literal book-to-film translation. They struggled to cram everything from the book into this two and a half hour movie, leaving it both overstuffed and underwhelming. The filmmakers should have taken into consideration that this is a popular novel and that millions of people have read it at least once before going to the theatre, and that these same people compose most of their audience.

I know that there is much historical background that needs to be explained, but the film came out as far too talky and pretentious -- everything was explained twice. Filmmakers should follow the footsteps of Peter Jackson whenever they need to turn a book into a movie -- by using the language of film to tell the story: with images. Gandalf told much of the history of the ring in a long narrative dialogue, but we saw it in the beginning of the film with a voiceover not saying what we can obviously see in the images. I even winced when Sophie (Audrey Tatou) finally met her grandmother and the old woman said that she has so much to tell about their family; I felt like we were in for another five-minute monologue.

Tom Hanks depicted Robert Langdon as a wooden character and too reactive and contemplative to be a hero. Sophie Neveu, who was supposed to be a police cryptologist, didn't even break any codes except for the Fibonacci sequence. Captain Bezu Fache (Jean Reno) has no plausible reason (as shown in the movie) to believe Langdon to be the killer. Lt. Collet was reduced to just an ordinary cop when, in fact, he was the one to broke the case in the novel. And why must the viewer be subjected to Silas' (Paul Bettany), the angel of death albino-monk, self-flagellation more than once? The movie only got interesting when Ian McKellen finally appeared at Sir Leigh Teabing; here we saw an actor having fun with his character.

After all the broken codes and all the chasing through famous locations, it all boiled down on what you, as a viewer, believe. Ron Howard did not even dared to irk the Roman Catholic Church -- he played it safe; the book's theories were all thrown into the gutter, for the raving, lunatic Lord Teabing uttered them. I am not sure if Dan Brown is happy with the film, because it took away the book's little credibility and made the flaws more obvious. This is not the movie that could shake neither one’s faith nor the very foundation of mankind.

Judge me all you want, but keep the verdict to yourself

I never thought that I could be a paranoid racist at a certain point in my life, but I did, and it just happened. Herman and I watched The Da Vinci Code last Sunday night at The Cathay, and there was an empty sit between us and another couple. Then came in a single guy of Arab descent (Pakistani or Sri Lankan, I'm pretty not sure) who confirmed to me the sit number right next to me; I concurred and he sat there; less than a minute later, he asked me if it was indeed the Da Vinci movie we were going to watch.

My mind started to whirl and crazy ideas popped into my head. This guy was watching the movie alone and he was carrying a backpack, which he placed neatly on his lap. I can't help but study his movements the entire movie; he looked pretty much like a suicide bomber to me (Herman shared the same fears). I've probably said a thousand prayers every time I saw him check the handphone in his shirt pocket. I kept racking my mind at which point in the movie would it be best to make a statement and set off the bomb. Towards the end, he was checking his handphone more often that, I think, irritated the other couple next to him, making the guy to tell him to shut it. Could he be eliciting the same fears with this couple as he does with us?

Right after the screen went black and the credits started to roll in, I pulled Herman up and went straight to the exit door (we were actually the first to get out). I knew I went a bit crazy, but by God! I really went through a huge deliberation inside my head. Like what Herman said, a single guy like him shouldn't get into a movie theatre carrying a backpack; the bag looked pretty much empty when he laid it on his lap, but why does he have to hold onto a roll of newspaper and not put it inside instead? He kept on checking his phone; is he waiting for a call or timing the movie, or could he simply got bored with all the lecturing in the film? I kept on telling myself that it's not gonna happen that night, not in Singapore, but then security in theatres can be lax; I haven't seen any guards in that building except at the ground floor by the car park entrance: it is possible.

We're still alive nevertheless; but my paranoia got heightened. I checked the exit doors inside the cinema while the movie was showing, which I normally do only when the movie has finished. I knew I'm not going to survive if it happens because, well, I'd be blown out to bits and pieces for I'm right next to the bag. I thought of things such as what's going to happen to my son, who would look after him if we're gone, would his godparents keep the promises they made during his baptism?

As the movie uncovers a conspiracy theory, I was cooking up one conspiracy theory myself. Anyways, I'm still whole and so are that bag and the man carrying it. All I can say is that watching The Da Vinci Code is one heck of an experience, but it's not something I could say about the film (and that's for another entry).

Getting sweet things in large quantities can't be difficult

I know this is a bit late for Mother's day, but who cares? It is not like motherhood ends when Mother's day ends. Josh gave me something, which they did at school, for this special day; it was a paper-cut dress, which they coloured and painted on, and contains these words:

M -- is for the Many things she's given me
O -- is only that she's getting Older
T -- is for the tears she's shed
H -- is for Heart of gold
E -- is for her Eyes with love's light shining
R -- is Right and Right she'll always be

Josh may be rough with friends at times, but he can be the sweetest kid you'll ever find. Last Sunday, as I was changing his clothes, he said to me (without anyone coaxing him): "Hapi Mader's Day! I lab you, Mommy." I can't deny that I melted into a pile of goo; but that was just one of my moments with him that I will treasure forever.

Idleness is the devil's home for unprofitable, distracting musings

If you're an analyst programmer like me, here are some tips for you in killing time at work when you don't have an Internet access. Things to do at work when you have really nothing to work on:
1. Clean up the mess you've in the development environment. Delete the objects you have created as back-ups during your testing. Objects already promoted for testing must also be removed from your development environment.
2. Clean up your spooled files. If you have saved reports that are almost a year old, take them out of the system; chances are you don't need them anymore and they're eating up space; better yet, delete them all: leave no evidence.
3. Clean you desk. Throw away all those scratch papers you have doodled on while doing your programming. File the documents (user requirements, technical specs, test results) for each project you have worked on.
4. Clean your hard disk of unnecessary files (mp3s, movies, episodes of Lost). If you have installed some freeware softwares that you rarely use, uninstall them; they could be the cause of the slow performance of your PC.
5. Organize your mailbox. Archive or delete old emails. Check out those emails with large attachments of dancing baby videos, you might have already gone tired of seeing them; now is the time to purge. Yes, that includes the dirty emails, chain emails, and jokes.
6. If your work table is now squeaky clean and your PC is running fine, read programming reference books (if you're that boring) or fire up the e-book copy of your favourite novel stored in your hard disk; and if you have enough brass, read Dan Brown's Da Vinci Code in paperback to refresh your mind before watching the film.
7. Learn how to sleep with your eyes still open; while you're at it, try learning how to move the mouse while dozing off.