If you can't fix it you've got to stand it.

I just saw one of the best movies of 2005, and I can't help but sing my praises. Are you ready for Marlboro men who love men? Is Brokeback Mountain a groundbreaking gay cowboy movie? To say so is an insult to the filmmaker, writers and actors who shared their art to make this short story by E. Annie Proulx enter the Hollywood mainstream possible. It is just as any movies we have seen that deal with the mysterious ways of forbidden love (West Side Story; Romeo and Juliet); it just so happen that the star-crossed lovers are men.

Ennis del Mar (Heath Ledger) and Jack Twist (Jake Gyllenhaal), a pair of 19-year-old cowboys, met in Wyoming ranch country in 1963 to herd sheep in the Brokeback Mountain for the summer. These two rough-mannered, rough-spoken ranch hands have never heard of the term gay; men who would mightily resist a gay lifestyle or even the label homosexual. Theirs is a relationship that unfolded in the beautiful scenery of the countryside wilderness; it is a stifle cry to the vast emptiness of the blue sky over the mountains. Great love stories are about hurdling obstacles, and this one has a lot to spare: a lonely passion that has no place in their world.

As their campfire dies one biting cold night, which drove them to huddle together inside the tent, a sudden spark between Ennis and Jack flared into an undying flame: an intimacy that is explosive, graphic, candid and unapologetic. The morning after that fateful encounter, Ennis insisted, "I'm no queer," to which Jack added, "Me neither. A one-shot thing. Nobody's business but ours." But the passion did not die and that promise was forever forgotten.

Their blissful and liberating life in the mountain was cut short by an impending blizzard, forcing them to end their summer employment and separate ways. Their farewell is a simple "See you around," though you could clearly see them both torn up. Unaware that they had stumbled upon the greatest love their lives, they went off to the rest of their lives: Ennis marrying his sweetheart Alma (Michelle Williams), and Jack, moving to Texas and falling into a marriage with Lureen (Anne Hathaway), a rodeo rider with a well-to-do family; they thought that what happened on Brokeback Mountain was over.

Four years had passed and Ennis, who had settled in Wyoming, received a postcard from Jack saying the he would come for a visit. The instant their eyes set on each other, the suspended passion and longing exploded into a spontaneous kiss. That meeting began their one or twice "fishing trips" in the countryside alone together on which there's no fish caught. After a few stolen days of re-living their idyllic summer, they go back to hiding their love behind shaky façades of heterosexual domestic life numb.

Jack, being the showier character, the livelier wire, and who is more self-aware and self-accepting, urges that they forsake their marriages, set up ranch together and settle down. Ennis, the taciturn who only speaks however, haunted by a childhood memory of seeing a mutilated body of a rancher tortured and beaten to death for living with another man, dissuades the idea out of fear and shame, "This thing gets hold of us at the wrong time and wrong place and we're dead."

We read and watch millions of love stories; they come and go, but this one stays with you - not because it's homosexual, but because Ennis and Jack's story is so full of life and longing, and true romance.

Great story this may be, it could never reach its grandeur without the wonderful direction of Ang Lee, the superb adaptation of Larry McMurtry and Diana Ossana, the awesome cinematography of Rodrigo Prieto and the exceptional performances of the actors.

I've seen Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal in previous films, but never had I thought of them as great actors - hunky heartthrobs, maybe - but this movie changed my mind: they made this angst-ridden love story tangible. Ledger as Ennis gave a powerful performance of a laconic Western man: the pain, the rage, his sense of longing and loss are for real. The disappointment of Gyllenhaal's soft and outspoken Jack is forever registered in his sad, expectant eyes. I love William's glum look, especially the look on her face when she discovered the affair (Oops! I gave out that one didn't I?) Hathaway made her character's turn into a robotic shell after years with Jack so convincingly that you (the audience) can't even tell if she has any idea about the relationship between her husband and his fishing buddy.

Are you ready for Marlboro men who love men? I am. After getting past that giggling fit on their first kiss I actually gushed over the intensity of their love's passion.

Catholics Rock!

Do you love movies and TV shows? Are you a gamer? Do you have an MP3 player or an iPod? If your answer is at least 2 "yes" for the three questions, then maybe what I'm about to say will interest you. Have you heard of podcasting? I mentioned this in a previous post; I am so totally hooked with this latest revolution in the Internet world, as well as in the media industry.

You need not be a Catholic or a devout one to enjoy the podcasts offered by the Star Quest Podcast Network. I listen to the Daily Breakfast everyday on my way to work. Fr. Roderick touches on the latest current events, movies, TV shows, games, and yes, there's the Peculiar Bunch section, wherein he discusses some things Catholic that may boggle the mind of others. The Catholic Insider, which Fr. Roderick started last year, is now more concentrated on the sound-seeing tours. And, of course, there's the Secret Series: Harry Potter, Narnia and Star Wars; these series delve into the origins of the literature and find their relation to a Christian life. I subscribe to all these podcasts and even the PrayStation Portable.

Incidentally, Catholic Insider is celebrating its first year anniversary of podcasting.

To those who know the pain of valentines that never came

Today is Valentine's day or what Jay Leno calls "Extortion Day!" So, instead of sending you all short messages let me greet you here.

May you find love - not just for today - but until the end of your days. Have a lovin' and sweet Valentine's Day.

Love can't be learned
Love isn't alms
Love isn't need
Love isn't completion
Love isn't just a feeling
Love defies reason
Love is beyond human comprehension.

The quote above is something I had put together some time ago from my readings; and the last line has some big resonance for me. A colleague told me today that love is overrated. The man's love, probably, because we tend to shift and change; being wholeheartedly in love all the time is next to impossible. God's love, however, is understated and often forgotten.

Keeping score

I just updated the collection of Josh's pictures in school as his teacher has sent another batch photographs. Now we know what he won during their Chinese New Year programme: Best in Costume for the Nursery Level.



We attended a birthday party last weekend; Josh was brave enough to join the apple- eating contest when he actually has not eaten an apple, much so bite it himself. I know we tried to feed him an apple before but he never liked it then, and I'm pretty sure even up to now.



We must educate children as really perfect people worthy of the great future in which they will live. - Leo Tolstoy

Poverty is the load of some, and wealth is the load of others

It has been said that God tests everyone: one with wealth, the other with poverty. For a rich man, it is a question whether he will extend his arm to help those in need; as for the poor man, whether he will endure his sufferings with no discontentment and filled with obedience.

How am I faring in this test? It is quite a hard one for I am neither too wealthy nor too poor. Okay, I don't belong to the impoverished lot; so, my task in this life is to help in whatever way I can. One doesn't need to be filthy rich to help, and here is one project that lends a hand to the needy in our country (Philippines) that I totally believe in: Gawad Kalinga. In this endeavour, the poorest of the poor are given chances for a better way of living and of giving back their own dignity. The slums are transformed into beautiful communities, and the poor people into productive and self-sufficient citizens.

Most overseas Filipino workers (OFWs) all left our country to help alleviate the direness of the plight of our families. No matter how long we have stayed out of our country, we will always be Filipinos and "home" is one place we can never abandon. I call for you to partake in this undertaking to build a better country to go back to.

Bear the load of thy neighbor's poverty, and let him bear with thee the load of thy wealth. Thou lightenest thy load by lightening his. - St. Aurelius Augustine

It is difficult to restrain oneself from saying things that please one's listeners

With the recent events such as the stampede at the Ultra or the outrage over some caricatures, I now wonder why people tend to find ways of putting the blame to others. Why is it that man relish in finding faults in his neighbours? Is it because pointing the finger at another makes one thinks that he isn't capable of committing such fault or blunder?

People behind the publications of the offending cartoons were hiding behind the mantra "freedom of the press"; it could be because they simply can't accept the fact that they were capable of religious bigotry. Those who were enraged by the caricatures were slamming that the western worlds are simply bigots; maybe they should stop and think for a while that they themselves had been dogmatic and alienated themselves from the world causing the distance between cultures wider and wider.

The unfortunate souls involved in that stampede that fateful Saturday at the Ultra are likewise, of course, passing the culpability to different sets of people: the event organizers, the show's producers, the show's host and co-entertainers, the stadium's security personnel, the government, poverty, and even the sloping pathway, which leads to the auditorium. Yes, all of them might have contributed to that regrettable day - even that damn steep pathway - but I challenge those who died (bless their soul), those have been injured and the lucky others in that crowd: to look at themselves and put that heavy burden in their hearts. They must accept the fact that their "little" shoving and pushing had cost seventy lives. No amount of organization or security could have prevented a mob inflamed by greed.

If I'm being a pompous ass, I'm sorry. I've just had enough of all the finger-pointing and of slinging-each-other-with-mud. It is time, for once, to stand-up and admit one's fault.

Stop blaming other people and you will fee what an alcoholic feels when he stops drinking, or what a smoker feels when he stops smoking. You will feel that you have relieved your soul. - Leo Tolstoy

iPodder

To our Nokia phone collector, ascerbic, bitchin', cocky friend with a great big heart:

Happy Birthday, E-Jay!

A life without religion is a life of an animal

Religious conflict is again at its height these days all because of a series of cartoons that were first published in a Danish newspaper. Muslims were outraged when their Prophet Mohammed was satirically depicted in a comic strip. I didn't know that their god isn't allowed to be illustrated in any type of art form – or maybe because I simply didn't know anything at all about other religions.

The Muslims are screaming blood; but is it really justifiable? I know that what the cartoonist did may be sacrilege to their religion, but why must the government suffer for the ignorance of its one or a handful of citizens? Can the Muslim community force one country, which gives freedom to the press, to penalize one person who did not commit any criminal act under their country's law? It was like Singapore asking the Philippine government to penalize Juan who had chewed boxes of gum in a public area in Manila.

What we need is religious tolerance and respect, and also a little respect to those people who can be quite uninformed. When the movie The Last Temptation of Christ came out, the Christian community were likewise furious. Christ was depicted in that movie in a humanized way, such as having carnal thoughts and desires, yet I never heard of news of Christians asking for the head of Martin Scorsese - ban the movie probably, but nothing radical as killing all Americans. The type of reaction from some of the people in the Muslim community that's being shown in the press is what's painting their religion in a bad light. Is it rooted in fanaticism or is that what's in their doctrine? And their outright cry (fatwa) for capital punishment is what making other people think that their religious dogma preaches savagery.

In the depth of all religions there flows the general, unifying truth: let Persians bear their taovids, Jews wear their caps, Christians bear their cross, Muslims bear their sickle - moon, but we have to remember that all these are only outer signs and the general essence of all religions is to love your neighbour, and that this is requested by Manuf, Zoroaster, Buddha, Moses, Socrates, Jesus, St. Paul, and Mohammed. - Morris Flugel

The public, with its mob yearning to be instructed, edified and pulled by the nose, demands certainties

A terrible tragedy happened in Manila last Saturday. What could have been an afternoon of celebration for a famous game show's anniversary began with a stampede leaving 74 people dead and hundreds injured. People from other sides of the world may be questioning themselves why such a thing has happened simply over a TV game show. I, too, am quite perplexed to hear the news, but then understanding the Filipino psyche gives some light to what's behind such a pitiful incident.

More than two years ago (the last time I went home) - back when we don't have TFC here yet - I asked my relatives why the TV media is littered with game shows (even on primetime!). One said that it's the popular thing right now, as people's lives are getting harder and harder and that the promise of instant money is a welcome proposition to the impoverished public.

So who's to blame in this unfortunate occurrence? Is it the government, the TV station, the show's producers, or the stadium's authorities? I'd say, how about blaming those people involved in the stampede for once? They brought this upon themselves. I'm just too tired of hearing of putting the culpability to poverty in every aspect of sad happenings in our country; it's a lame excuse from a bunch of indolent people.

If Singaporeans are kiazu, some of our countrymen are even worst. Queuing up early is one thing, but jumping queues and roughing up is another; why must there be a need to rush things up? Is it poverty or purely just greed?

There is no such thing as getting easy money decently; quick bucks don't last. Here's something I got from the Praystation Portable this morning (a reading from St. Paul's letter to the Thessalonians): "Anyone who would not work, should not eat. We hear that some of you are unruly; not keeping busy but acting like busybodies. We enjoin all such and we urge them strongly in the Lord Jesus Christ, to earn the food they eat by working quietly. You must never grow weary of doing what is right."

I wonder when will our people understand that alleviating the plight of their lives doesn't depend solely on our government or on the charity of others. They better start looking at their own selves and ask: "why do let myself sunk this low?"

Metro Manila isn't the land of promise anymore or of milk and honey. It is time to go back to our lands – the lands, which have nurtured our ancestors long before the skyscrapers sprouted in that big city. Don't you think that your life tilling a small parch of land with your helpful carabao – things you had sold to buy tickets to go to that city – is far better off than a life in the city slums or sleeping beneath the bridge with ten families?

I felt pity for those seventy-four unfortunate souls. They have lost their dignity in the hope of getting a better life. Kids, too, have died in there; kids who should have been in school instead of queuing up for five days just to get inside that stadium and get a raffle ticket that could have brought them of $400 (if they're that lucky enough). I'd rather dole out my dollars to Gawad Kalinga than give them to those who say cheesy jokes. Winning ten thousand pesos might pay-off a family's house bills and feed them for half a month, but after that, what's next? They'd be back to that game show and try to win some more.

Passion is the mob of the man that commits a riot upon his reason. - William Penn

A new face

To commemorate my 150th post, I did a complete makeover to this site's look. I do hope you like it. It's too girly (I know!) - far too different from the previous one. If I get tired of it, I might replace it with another.

As for the background picture, that's taken by a very good friend of mine, Marc Aviles, and used with permission.

Heaven is under our feet as well as over our heads

Shoes, shoes, glorious shoes! Let it be Manolo Blahnik's, Jimmy Choo's, Nine West, Pretty Fit, Charles & Keith, or even Parisian, just what is it with women and shoes? Imelda Marcos is a name associated to one who has a huge collection of shoes – aside from the fact that she was once the driving force behind one powerful man. Can someone explain to me the passion between a woman and her sets of shoes?

I'm not the type of woman who has got to have a set of shoes that matches to the colour of her dress; all of my shoes are in black, aside from my sneakers (of course!). Before I got the sensible dark colours such as brown, blue - even green - and an occasional white, but I guess my preferences changed and so did my lifestyle. Gone were the days when I have to dress-up all girly off to a ball, and so my girly, twinkly, sexy pumps had to go. I no longer had to wear company uniforms and so those blues, greens and brown pumps flew off the window as well.

I don't have a large collection of shoes ' you can tell just from the range of colour that I buy. But still I go ga-ga when I see a style that captures my eye. The first thing you'll see me do when checking out shoes is look at the heels. They simply had to look great; no cheesy curves nor geeky ones. I don't like stilettos for they are such killers! A three-inch heel is fine with me, but I can’t seem to stand on a heel that's between 1 and 2 inches high (I simply don't like them). If it's got to be flat, it should be flat; no semi-flat (or whatever they call them). To top it all off: they should look great on every view; be it from the top, side, or back.

I was presented with a Victoria's Secret brochure filled with great looking shoes last week, and I lost some minutes of sleep tossing, turning thinking of those pumps. I simply have got to have those glorious boots. After so much consideration, I'm thinking of adding a few colours to my array of shoes; I better bring back some colour to my feet. Red. I never had red shoes. Maybe I should try one.

Shoes should match one's bag. Oh, bags! Women and their bags: that's another wonder.