Singlish… is as stupid does

I’m not here to be sanctimonious nor am I saying that I’m the greatest grammarian on the face of this earth. I do make my own mistakes, but there are things that simply boggle one’s mind. Singlish or Singaporean English is not that far from the colloquial Taglish; we, however, butcher the American version while they mangle the Queen’s language.

Here’s one example of a conversation I had with a former boss back when I just got here.

Me: Sorry, I can’t.
Boss: So when can you start?
Me: I said I can’t.
Boss: Yeah can.
Me: No, I said CAN’T.
Boss: Oh, you mean CAN NOT.

There’s one more thing that irks me that Singaporeans do, that is whenever they try to get your attention to get out of their way. You should be hearing the words “Excuse me” but nope that’s not their way; what you’d hear is: “’Alo, ‘alo, ‘alo…” (that is, if the speaker has somekind og Kapangpangan inclinations.) I’d at times felt like giving in to temptations of giving a cheeky answer: “Yes, hello. Who would you like to speak with? May I know who’s on the line, please?”

I went to the market today and saw Filipina bananas for sale. I wonder now if there are Filipino bananas on sale, too; that would be outright pimping.

Since yesterday, whenever I see a trailer of Russell Crowe’s latest movie, Cinderella Man, being shown on TV, I can’t help myself but snigger. I guess I should blame it to one account I’ve read at the newspaper about a writer’s adventure watching this film. Is there something funny about the film? Nope only the viewers. Well, the writer was quite surprised when he entered the movie hall filled with Moms tugging along their little girls dressed in pink gowns and pink bows and ribbons. Some people thought that this film is another version of the fairy tale! I’d even be horrified if they thought that it was Russell Crowe who’d be playing Cinderella; Renée Zellweger could. Don’t they even watch movie trailers? Or have they seen the movie posters? This film is a boxing movie, not something for little girls in pink dresses.

This isn’t rant of a pompous fellow, but a poke at some funny things one sometimes stumbles upon. Filipinos have murdered the English language a lot; I don’t know to you (Ewan ko sa iyo).